Overcoming the Vultures.

I sat down in the tea room on my break, eagerly listening to a colleague who was proudly eating a lean and healthy meal. She excitedly told us how much weight she’d lost, and how great she felt as a result. She was met with words of praise and encouragement by the rest of her colleagues.

It was at that moment her “best friend” walked in. Could her evil powers really sense all that horrendous positivity in the air?

“HiYa fatty” she laughed as she entered the tea room, “I brought ya some dessert”, and placed down a donut, and a bottle of coke in front of her friend.

“Oh, bugger! Why’d you do that for? I broke a chair a couple of weeks ago with my big, fat arse, remember? And now these seats are far less snug around my big old thunder thighs.”

“Yeah,  I remember. It was hilarious!” Her toxic friend bursts into laughter, as her mate joins in her chorus too. They often poked fun at each other like this.

Once again, I sat there stunned.

They were both obese girls, and these "best friends" had each other through thick, and eerrr thick?! Literally!

On occasion one would attempt to back away to pursue a happier, and healthier lifestyle. It was just as she was making inroads, and feeling better, that the other would discourage her again.

These friends were back in their “comfortable” place, lulling in their shared state of misery once more. Together they could continue to poke fun at each other’s wobbly bits, and their misfortunes... as result of their wobbly bits.

It was easier for them, right?

They had company, right?

WRONG!!

Who in their right mind would forego THEIR happiness due to fear of being alone?

I think we've all been there. Had those toxic friends/situations in our life? That told us..

We couldn't. That we weren't ..

Good enough.

Strong enough.

Smart enough.

Attractive enough.

Know this. It is all FALSE!

Anything or anyone that makes us stay or feel this way because of their words or actions is not for you! They are wrong.... YOU are strong.. And YOU can walk away from that.

I've been there, and eventually stepped away. And, YES I was alone initially, but damn it I was not going to let anyone get in the way of my positive actions towards happiness.

It was my life, and I had to take control!

Soon after taking these positive steps, yes there were those vultures that tried to eat away at my new path, and yes I was still alone. But in time....

 I began to attract positive experiences, and people. People just like me, who celebrated just the positive, and nurtured others own desires and worth!

So, with my new comrades by my side, I kept on moving straight ahead.

Towards the potential, and the greatness that resides within all of us!

Here's an extra something special from a man that inspires me so much.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1BXwsh3pGo 

.... and another little something to get you going.. :-)     

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUOtCLOXgm8  

Why?

This blog will document my journey out of this rutt and back into the state of “happy” where I belong.  

In this blog I will feature particular incidences, actions, thoughts, and people that make me happy, even if it is ridiculously embarrassing.

I am only human, so along the way I am sure there will be seemingly hopeless moments where I may slip back into a state of self pity. That’s ok! But, the point is that we all do from time to time. The greater point is that we snap out of it, by looking upon our list (assuming you’ve written one too), and participating in whatever we can, till we make it!

I aim to keep this real and completely relatable to most. I hope to inject little bursts of humour along the way. These act as reminders that we should never take our lives and its circumstances too seriously.

I hope that by doing this people will be more kind to one another.

I hope that through my positive actions, words and changes, I will inspire others to do the same.

I hope to allow people to realise that our happiness is a CHOICE!

I hope that you will follow me in this journey, and perhaps share this with someone that may need it.

Pleasant reading!

“Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from our own actions”. Dalai Lama

“I am determined to be happy in whatever situation I find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstances but by our disposition.” Martha Washington

“You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late”. Ralph Waldo Emerson.

“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone may do that same for you”. Princess Diana

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The Beginning.

So, there I  was, slumped down on the bench outside my local shopping centre. Grumbling under my breath, I seriously believed (at that point) that the world and most of its people were a pack of a*$seholes!

The clouds were eerily sombre, but yet I donned my darkest pair of sunglasses to conceal the tears that were welling. It was there I momentarily wallowed in self pity because I had just spent my very last 5 bucks. And with that last 5 bucks I found myself in a state of fierce rebellion.

“If I was going to go out penniless, then I was going to go out with a bang!” ...... with a double choc and rainbow sprinkles ice cream.

Miserable and broke I sat devouring that ice cream when....

BANG! That bench and I shook. Who dares interrupt me in my state of misery? I turned to have a look. With a wide and honest grin “Hello”, he proudly beamed.

I acknowledged him whilst cracking a fake smile. He sat there next to me, innocently and with intention. He continued to smile back, completely disregarding the “Bugger off, and leave me alone” label that was written all over my face. 

I looked at him closer.

Like me, he sat in the chair slumped, but unlike mine, his chair was a battered old wheelchair. He was slumped because I could see that his posture was permanently affected. His arms were limp and weren’t functional, as were his legs. His speech was slurred..

His carer stood behind him, patiently allowing him to finish his interlude with me. She, like his chair, he relied upon for his independence. Without them, he would have little.

His joy radiated, almost like a powerful laser beam piercing through my heart. I smiled at him back, but this time it was genuine. As he recognised this he gestured for his carer to back away, and move along.

As I watched him leave, he managed to turn his head slightly, and with bucket loads of cheer in his voice yelled “I hope you have a great day”! I wished him one back.

That there, that small, yet organically beautiful moment brought about by a stranger was the swift bitch slap across the face that I needed. If only he was around so that I could thank him.

Yes, my current circumstances are crap, however, like other crap circumstances that have been and gone throughout my life. Unlike his, it’ll pass.

I can choose to allow it to wreck havoc on my mind set, or I could fix it. By getting happy. Just like he did!

It was then that I remembered what a wise man told me “He once set about his day with an aching foot. As he limped along cursing at it, he bumped into his friend who asked him what was up. “I’ve had this bloody stone caught in my shoe all day”, to which his friend replied.. “Stop! Take it out you fool”. All that grumbling and whining had him forget about that most simple course of action.

With that, I marched home with purpose. I sat down and wrote.

My Happy List (in no particular order)

-Rocket (dog)

-Cuddling Rocket (dog)

-My boyfriend.

-When he makes me laugh.

-His two little boys

-Family and friends (the obvious one)

-Lifting really big weights, and giving the big boys a run for their money.

-Exercise in general.

-Nature, and its wildlife.

-Dancing like a maniac in my living room.

-Love making...

-Hugs

-Being kind to others (yes, this makes me really happy)

-Tasting the finer food, Chocolate, and Vino when I am able.

-My passions: Advocacy for those less fortunate and able. Fighting against wrongs. Writing.

-Walking in nature.

-Being silly.

If you look at this list closer, as I did, you will notice a common denominator..

And before I mention this common denominator, I will remind you of something:

* The main cause of my current unhappiness.-“Financial stuff”

*the common denominator of what makes me happiest.- “It doesn’t cost a thing”

IT’S FREE!

If down the track something else should make me unhappy (like a deterioration in health, or a significant loss of someone in my life) then most of this happy list should still be there, and  obtainable.

If for whatever reason I find myself wallowing in self pity, or

- numbing brain with booze,

-stomping my feet and throwing something,

- taking it out on someone else

-Throwing my head face down in a pillow, whilst sobbing so heavily that my entire face puffs up until it’s ugly.    Note: most of this stuff actually never happens.

I will (pre or post spaz attack) remember to pull list out, and no matter how hard it is..

I will do it!

 I will act on the stuff that makes me happy, until... the unhappy stuff passes!

Because that unhappy stuff I just mentioned, it doesn’t help one single bit. Not only does it age us, it can destroy the situation further. At the same time, we’ve also forgotten, dismissed, or lost whatever, or whoever it is that makes us truly happy!

....  And whilst we’re at it......

To think it was that small, yet defining moment from a complete stranger. That simple and sincere act of kindness......

 That bitch slapped me out of self pity...  and back into..

Getting Happy!

Now, I want to pay it back by being genuinely kind...  to everyone that I can!

If just one person is knocked out of their doldrums as result ....

They may just do the same!